London and me and Ashley
It’s Bank Holiday Weekend in London and I am here doing the Soho Theatre – fun times!
Ashley and I are having a ball, but the downside is, I didn’t explain fully to Ashley how long we are leaving Scotland for, as we go from here to Atlanta to do some comedy and she thought it was 6 days the round trip.
There is a point to this conversation, she only packed a small case and screamed when she found out we are actually travelling for 14 days in all. She has 3 pairs of knickers, one pair of boots and a few tops and one pair of leggings. So we need to go shopping for clothes for Ashley.
The shows so far at The Soho Theatre have been great fun, I had some nice Twitter people come to see me, GOD BLESS TWITTER and that was amazing, I love the internet.
Ashley has been hanging out at The Groucho on her own as I go onstage, she is now a fixture in the corner reading, drinking and nattering to the staff. I am just the old mother who turns up and kills the party with a sweaty head, a boring story and penchant for cups of tea.
Ashley told me a funny story – but here is the back story first – at home Ashley doesn’t swear as it annoys her dad so instead of cursing she does a big childish ‘raspberry’ with her mouth when something pisses her off.
Anyway she sat in the club watching the Election debate, there were some serious intense blokes sitting alongside her. Ashley is into politics and loves the whole debate thing, but got so carried away, that every time David Cameron spoke Ashley blew a big spitty raspberry with her tongue snaking out and cheeks puffed up. Then she looked to the side and spotted three pretty interesting actor blokes staring at her like she was slightly special.
She almost cried with horror when she told me “Mum, I love that actor, he is my favourite and all he will know of me is that I sit in a winged backed chair and blow big baby raspberries at political debates in public”
I told her not to worry, as that is a marriage proposal in Soho.
The other night we were in a bar and three very skinny girls dressed in Twiggy mini dresses, blonde bobbed haircuts and big heavy eye make up came tottering in, they were totally into the whole 60s thing. They were wearing white thick tights, big black T-Bar shoes and pouting.
Ashley whispered “Do you think they know the Pill has been invented” and that made me snort, but the girls were awesome, I love people who stick to a theme and go for it in public. You can’t beat Soho for whacky dressed folk and a homeless man who will scream poetry into your face and demand cash for his ‘Art’.
Yes, that actually happened, the homeless in Soho love a performance, whether it’s pissing at your feet whilst you try to recall your pin number or throwing a kitten at you when you try to eat a pasta pot before a show….I love Soho.
Being with Ashley makes me happy, though she is missing her mates; she is insinuating that I duped her into travelling with her. I will let go of her one day….one day indeed._
Why didn't you just tell her in advance how long you'd be away from Scotland for?