Not only did I dream about being pinned down by a strange evil man, but as I looked over his shoulder I could see he had put another woman behind the wallpaper but had left holes in the paper for her to stare out of as she slowly died. Amongst all the floral swirls there was this woman’s two eyes glaring at me.
Yes, my dreams are not always happy rainbow filled mirages.
Then I woke up with fucking evil ear pain.
Every year my left ear (that sounds like the start of a limerick)…anyway my ear is blocked up with hard thick wax; my left ear makes more wax than a hive full of bees. Then it all coagulates into one thick plug and stops my ear from hearing properly and the pain is unbelievable.
I usually have to put in ear drops until it’s all soft and then go to the docs and get it syringed out. I must admit getting that hot water scooshed into my ear hole is rather amazingly wonderful you get shivers and it could be described as sexual. Maybe my erogenous zone is inside my ear canal? Maybe I have an ear clitoris? Who knows? But the water goes clockwise in a swirl and I go woozy!
So the pain is a problem but the result is quite nice.
During this short heat wave that Glasgow suffered, I have been useless at getting things done. I am supposed to be writing a 2,000 word piece for BBC radio 4 but all I can do is lie in the sunshine and watch fat people slap babies in the park.
Why can’t I get motivated? The good news is, the sunshine is fading and it will probably snow in a day or two.
I am off to Inverness Ironworks on Saturday to do some comedy, I had to cancel the last time I was due to go there as my step mum was gravely ill and she died days after I got home.
Life is moving on, my Edinburgh stuff has all been done all I need to do now is get the posters and flyers done. And I may need to organise my own flyering team as Ashley might not be able to make the Edinburgh fringe this year. Now that she is a big script writing commissioned person, she will be too busy to work for me! So- I will have my first ever fringe without Ashley since 1996. That will be weird.
Ok, am off to start a fight with husband as I am bored and he is laughing in the other room and I want to know why he is laughing without me being near him, why is happy when I am not there? That’s a great start for a fight eh?_