I went to visit my great niece Abi; she is three and half years old now and is funnier by the minute.
Abi has all the DNA of my performing gene and loves nothing better than getting on her wee ‘stage’ or footstool that she carries around and does a show for us.
This particular show was incredibly hysterical.
Abi stood on the stage and announced in her ‘American’ accent that she was Sally.
It’s strange that Scottish kids speak in this American accent when play acting but due to the overload of American kids show this is the voice they assume when playing.
“Hello there my name is Sally and I live in paradise” Abi theatrically announced to her mum and I as we sat at the kitchen table. Her wee funny over exaggerated American accent made us giggle.
“Well hello Sally” I impersonated her accent and started the conversation “So where is paradise then?” I asked.
“Paradise is America and I live there with my five children” she answered, stroking her curly hair and coyly swirling her body in a disturbingly odd way.
“What does your husband do then Miss Sally” I asked her.
“My husband is a vet and when dead animals come to him for help he makes them alive” she drawled.
Her mum and I made eyes at each other and smiled, Abi always has to have some element of death come into every situation and this often bewilders us, but we carried on with the show.
“What is your job then Sally?” I asked her.
She took the hem of her sundress and twirled about and said with a flourish “I work on stage this is my work, I am an actress”
“Oh thats wonderful what show do you work on then?” I carried on.
“Its called Bunnies in the Field” she answered with an air of authority, like we should have known that world famous show she works on!
“How does this show go then Miss Sally?” I continued.
“Well, all the bunnies come on stage and they lick the ladies” she answered as she smiled and batted her big curly eyelashes.
“Ok that sounds like Hugh Heffner production” I laughed.
Her mum and I sat there with eyes agog at this bizarre statement, neither of us trying to picture bunnies licking women! We ended up laughing out loud.
Abi got annoyed at us laughing and added “Well only the bunnies that are alive lick all the ladies, the dead ones just lie around the floor and the dancers sometimes stand on them and they squish” she pouted.
I couldn’t stop laughing at dead bunnies being squished and live ones licking women, I sat on the bus home giggling.
I love Abi, her wee Scottish head and wild American accent will delight me forever._