What's new with Janey
09 August 2006

Fringe day six…

I am appalled at my lack of socialising skills, every night I am in bed by 10pm!
Today I got up and had to go do a radio show about my Blog Live! Show which incidentally got FOUR STARS in the List! WOW!
That’s two sets of FOUR stars we had got since arriving, because Square Street the sketch show I do with my daughter also got a four star review!
The only down side of living off the High Street is the fucking noise…it is mental. Every night – people stumble past drunk, shouting loudly and EVERY night someone sits beneath our window and moans as if being beaten to death with a lead pipe. What the fuck is that about?
I now wear ear plugs to bed. That’s sad.
Husband is making me mental, he sits around half naked eating the contents of the fridge and complains about the strange hours we are keeping, the too-ing and fro-ing that Ashley and I get up to….what did he think was going to happen? I am doing THREE shows a day, I am not a normal person, if he wanted normal he should have married a housewife!
I reckon after 27 years of marriage, I should be allowed a day off to go have sex with my man of choice. Why can this NOT happen? Surely marriage should work on a points system …like Air-miles or a loyalty card? I get to be faithful and kind for so many years then I am allowed to fuck a stranger of my choice, or even like a supermarket system where I get two for the price of one? I want that to happen.

I must be grumpy in my old age; this morning as I stepped out of the shower, I heard my door being knocked. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the door to see fourteen young Korean girls all dressed exactly the same, with the same hair style and same round glasses. I thought for a horrified moment this was a strange Fringe show that went round the houses, knocking and performing!
“We are so solly” they all chimed.
“What the fuck is this?” I screamed at them, annoyed that I am dripping and cold at my door.
“You are not our teacher” One girl blurted out.
“No I am fucking not, now piss off and use your combined brains to work out which door to knock on and don’t come back here, I lash out at strangers” I snapped back.
I am cruel.

So the sun is out, the rain came on, and then the sun came back out…typical Edinburgh weather. I am off to relax._