What's new with Janey
24 November 2005

Busy City Shoppers…

I am exhausted, all I did was go into town and get some thermal underwear and a wee bit of make up in Boots. By the way I have lost 14 pounds in weight!

That’s a stone…don’t ask me how much that is in kilo’s as I don’t know. Drug dealers also have not converted to metric…I wonder if the police would have a problem with that?

Anyway I have lost weight, isn’t that good? I knew I had to as one night after a Jongleurs gig in Manchester, I was sitting in some anonymous hotel eating my third Marks and Spencer’s Creamy trifle at 4am and wondered why the next day my tummy hurt on the journey home. The next week I silently wondered why my slinky thongs were cutting my fat ass like cheese wire…then my brain connected the fact that five creamy trifles in one day would turn my clothes into evil cutting devices.

So I have been living in the world of fresh fish, lentils, whole brown rice and fresh fruit blended shakes and lo and behold I am thinner!

I was just watching TV and am bewildered at the advert for Cushion gel pads to stop high heels and party shoes from hurting your feet.

Ok here is a fucking newsflash…if your shoes are turning into tools of the devil and make you bleed, then take them off and go buy shoes that don’t silently eat your flesh, unless you are one of the strange people who wear clothes that cut you and you enjoy the pain….like priests or something or ME when I eat trifles and try to wear G strings!

The city centre is full of over wrapped up adults looking harassed dragging sweaty red faced children who scream at every toy they see and desperately want NOW. That alone should stop people from wanting procreate?

I am off to Manchester this weekend, got a lovely email from a fellow blogger called Neil and will be seeing him on Sunday. That will be cool!

Before Sunday though I will be in Lanark on Friday, I am looking forward to that as I have never done stand up in Lanark!

I must say Glasgow looks lovely in the dark afternoons with the Christmas lights illuminating up the streets. There is also a project in place this month in Glasgow. The project is called ‘Radiance Scotland the Festival of Light’. Glasgow’s remarkable range of buildings will be illuminated by animation and lights, projections, artworks and events throughout the whole city! I am so looking forward to seeing our architecture being put in the spotlight.
Come to my city and enjoy, but do wear shoes that fit_