What's new with Janey
21 October 2005

The Craig Hill Show on BBC…

Well I sat and watched it just then on the BBC Scotland and I was very pleased with it, I do have the fattest chin in the country…but the make up was not too visible and that’s what I was really worried about.
I am not joking, it was filmed last night and especially for my big TV performance, my skin broke out in nasty spots, and the lovely make up lady literally painted brown stuff on my face with a wallpaper pasting brush!

I was really shocked when I saw my face in the mirror, because under the strip lights in the make up room, I looked like a fucking transvestite air hostess who had let a small, angry, slightly sleepy nocturnal ferret apply make up that was normally used for ‘burns’ victims to disguise direct facial gunshot wounds!

Ashley smiled at me and reassured me that under the studio lights, I would look fine and on camera it settles and doesn’t make me look like one of those women in ‘Dangerous Liaisons’ that she thinks I look like, all powdery faced and small bright puckered red lips!
I must say I do hate watching myself as I look so fat, but the good news is I am on a diet so, I didn’t feel so low as I am actually doing something about it as we speak!

Also I was chuffed and very proud of the BBC, for they kept in the part of the interview when I spoke about how my paedophile uncle would ‘never be able to hold up his head at the Orange Walk again!’

The good news is, I found my favourite black skirt and Ashley had NOT in fact lost it, it was in the back of my wardrobe all the time!

EL Presidente were the music guest on the show, well those who know me will know that the guys from the band are good friends of mine and Dante, the lead singer wrote the title song of my play Smack-The Point of Yes’ which I am performing next week.
The guys were very good, so fucking rock and roll!

Well I am off to buy a sand blaster to remove the last traces of ‘Ivory Coast’ sheer make up that is still sticking to my fat chin!_
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