I am all set to go to the Fringe, my show is ready, my bags are packed and today I found another lump in my breast. I have had biopsies before and am currently ‘under surveillance’ in the lumpy tit department and just when I thought I was safe…
I am smiling though, as I have been fretting so much about my show-tickets sales-reviews..Etc..Etc..And after all that I might have to get me tit lopped off! Great!
I am not going to worry myself sick; I just need to go through another biopsy and mammogram. That really hurts you know. I don’t want to scare anyone but getting your tits squashed by two flat plates until your boobies resemble thin and crispy pizza’s is fucking deathly painful. I know I have done it twice before. You think your tits will POP! If they squeeze them one more centimetre, Guys reading this? Imagine your nuts flattened by two ceramic bathroom tiles and pressure on them till they look like prawn dim sum!
The show will go on, I am talking to my doc tomorrow and he will decide what day I go to breast clinic and I will go on stage that night as I HAVE to…and I WANT to.
On another note, I managed to scar my daughter’s eyebrow. She asked me to wax them and the wax tape was so strong that it ripped out her wee tough eyebrows and has left a big strip of red bruise above her eyeball! She is telling people I gave her a black eye!
I am on the radio this week, if you check
Friday 5th August
BBC RADIO 4 (FM only)
“WE’RE ALL GROWN UP HERE”
Saturday 6th August
BBC RADIO SCOTLAND
“OFF THE BALL”
Alex Dickson Clyde 2 ‘Authors’
Wednesday 17th August: 10:00 PM – 10:30 Pm
ON TV THIS MONTH YOU CAN SEE
Wednesday 24th August
Scottish comics including Stanley Baxter and Janey talk about the Scottish language (i.e. Scottish English NOT Gaelic). Also available outside Scotland on Sky channel 941
Everything else can be checked on my website