It really is a small world, as we were driving into Manchester yesterday, we got a bit lost and contrary to popular belief, men can ask for directions! Well actually I can ask for directions after being directed by husband to do so! We always get a bit lost when we get into new cities, and as we slowed down in the busy traffic, I spotted a guy to ask but noticed he had head phones on so the next person approaching answered as I yelled “Excuse me!”.
The young woman came over to the car. She smiled and said “Hello Janey Godley!”
It was Lucy Porter! Stand up comic from London, Lucy was in town to perform at Comedy Store. It was nice to stop and chat, I like Lucy.
At the gig last night we were talking about our ages and our parents. This got me thinking more about who I am at this age.
Women my age (44) are generally described as the ‘Punk Generation’. We are old enough to have been teenagers when the real Punk wave hit Britain in 1977. We are women who by now have had our big ‘White Wedding’ and are possibly onto our second marriage, we will have paid the bigger part of our mortgage, our kids are now young adults and according to latest statistics we will probably have had two lovers and one abortion.
I feel cheated on the two lover thing and am happy to have missed the abortion but I do agree with the other statistics.
We are not the 44 year old women our mothers were, my own mother had grey hair, none of her own teeth, had more wrinkles and was considered ancient at 44 back in 1979. She was an old woman according to me at the time. I was just 18 that year and I thought she had lived her life and was now relegated to being a granny that made soup and would now watch as her children got married and brought home the wee babies for her to sing to.
I didn’t know she was still sexually active, and possibly had ambitions. In 1979 I didnt know that she only had three more years to live. Had I known that then I would have spent more time with her.
Women my age in this century have an upper hand. We have better skin care, more awareness of diet, better health screening, and are more valued in the work place than our mothers. Women in their forties are no longer considered menopausal nightmares and are now climbing the corporate ladder, they no longer require childcare and have no guilt about working longer hours with more committment to the job and the 1980’s under achieving jealous annyoing spouse has either been divorced or has finally grown up.
The only problem I can see is where we fit in in the fashion sense. You only have to look at Patsy Kensit, Lesley Ash and Carole Vordeman to see that ‘Looking good’ does mean ‘Mutton Dressed as Lamb’ or resort to fattening up your lips to clown status.
Real women my age have a bit of a short fall where clothes buying comes in. All the high street stores are geared to the ‘Sienna Miller’ gypsy look, I cannot wear that hip 1970’s stuff…it doesn’t work and you cannot wear wrap over tea dress’s as they do make me look like my maiden Aunt and you cant do ‘ironic’ at 44.
My dress sense falls somewhere between ‘Hip street/angry teenage lesbian/flowery baggy woman who keeps too many cats.
I do wish fashion houses would design something that can understand older women have breasts that are no longer ‘above’ the Empire line, that real woman do have hips and we all dont want to look like Bet Lynch in leopard print wrapover dresses this summer.
I am old enough to enjoy sex without the stress now, most women my age have realised by now what they like, how they like it and when they want it.
I know what bits of my body dont look as good and I now know how to ignore it and enjoy the moment.
The 1980’s are over- we have done the whole sex with high heels and red lipstick shit and we aint going back. We want Egyptian cotton sheets, Jo Malone body cream, a decent music collection, some good long sex and if the man in our lives can no longer provide it, we are self assured and wealthy enough to go get it ourselves.
I feel like I have just delivered my first party politcal broadcast! Vote for me!
Must dash and go to get ready for the gig._