What's new with Janey
24 April 2005

twins and beaches

Shouting at a computer doesn’t help. This I know to be true, shouting at the person who was allocated to ‘save’ the stuff also doesn’t help. It only creates a loud noise in your house. I stopped shouting and we-husband and daughter Ashley decided to pack up and go to the beach. Actually to be honest, Ashley did not want to go, she wanted to stay in her bed, but because I took the tuna sandwich filler in the picnic box, she decided the only way to get a crusty roll on her favourite spread was to come with us, so she dragged herself out of bed and came with us.

I was glad to see she had wiped off her eye make up the night before. I despair of her penchant for sleeping in ‘full make up’, she seems to think its ok and I worry she will damage her skin. I do recall being 19 though and I know I thought I would never get old or worry about my skin. Ha! Youth is wasted on the young indeed.

I do feel it is absurd that the amount of cash we spend on ‘colouring in our face’ and then the crazy cost of ‘special wipes’ to then rub it off! But we do it, we are women in the 21st century and we are under pressure to look good. Well, I am on the lower end of my forties and am hoping I can reach 50 then give up trying to look sexy, fuck that time out!
I am joking, I don’t think I look remotely sexy, I think my dress code is more ‘Urban angry lesbian’ than ‘Chic Desperate Housewife’.

Anyway the beach out at Balmaha is lovely, a stony setting on the side on Loch Lomond. The sun shone so strong I got worried I would burn and covered Ashley up as well.
A young mother came by with two small tiny boys who were identical twins. They were so cute and dinky, she smiled and the wee boys waved at me.
I looked at husband and watched his face soften and melt looking at the cute wee things toddle by.

“OH MY GOD! Imagine having twins, oh no, I would die at having twins!” I whispered to him, still in a slight shock at the thought of having TWO small kids at that age, no matter how cute.

Husband-“ Twins, I would love that, I would love two more kids and twins would be amazing, it was easy having twins my mother said” he grinned looking at me. I reminded myself that his brothers are twins, my niece has twins and multiple births are scattered throughout both families.

My heart thudded in my chest. TWINS? Is he mad?

Me-“Are you serious? How on earth could we cope having two more kids? We have just got her up and off to Uni, what goes on your head?” I was genuinely shocked.

Husband-“Yes, well I could bring them up and you can carry on working”

He had it all worked out, Ashley was lying in her wee beach tent that she has mastered erecting after a whole year of putting it up. She was lying listening to her IPOD in one ear and us in the other.
Ashley-“Yuk, please tell me you aren’t thinking of having sex and babies” She then sat up and looked at her dad “Papa, if you had twins would you love me more than them?”

I sniggered, here was un chartered territory for the man who knows everything (except how to save info on PC and manage to love more than one child).

Husband (now uncomfortable)-“ Erm. I would love you more as I have had you longer” he smiled at his own ability to get out of that one, but she is my child as well remember and will take this as far as she can.

Ashley-“Papa, you love me more than you love mum don’t you?”

I knew she was just making him uncomfortable, her position of ‘only totally loved child’ was being threatened by all this ‘twin talk’. He looked at me and went to wink and she shouted “Look at me not her and say you love me more than anyone or thing ever!”

I smiled and squinted through the sunlight and watched her, all six foot of her lying their with her pale face and his brown eyes and her fat petulant lip demanding his attention.

Husband-“Yes I love you more than anything and anyone”

She sniggered and looked over at me, smiled and stuck out her tongue and lay back down giggling. Husband looked confused and bewildered.

Me-“See that kind of manipulation would THREE FOLD if we had twins and her at home”

He shook his head, smiled and went back to watching the wee mum holding the twins near the water. I hope he is not really serious about more kids, I am looking forward to getting my life my way, not being saddled back down to spoon feeding and swing park visiting.

Never the less, I like the spring arriving, I love the beach at Balmaha. Roll on summer so we can start roaming all over Scotland on our days off.
That’s what families do when they are not shouting at each other._