Sunday the 24th of April 2005
10:13:02 AM computer crash and Catholics

yes my pc has crashed totally, i have effectively lost most of my emails (again) I have lost half of my diary (Thank God John Fleming who does my website and stuuf had most of it) the rest of the gigs and info were wrote on a bit of paper, screwed up in the bin. SO I had to wade through yucky bits of steak pie, ashtray material and stuff I have no idea what it is to get to that wee bit of paper to get the other gigs. AARRGGHH!

As if that is not fucked up enough i did a gig last night at Blackfriars in Glasgow. A gig that had no real door control, people were walking in talking, there was a private party up the back of this small long room celebrating ‘Real Ale’.

Yes, you read right, Real fucking Ale!

A bunch of cardigan wrapping, organic, sandal flapping, thick rimmed specatacle wearing, bushy haired, acrylic bedecked corduroy clad bearded ( even the women) weirdo’s.

If that wasn’t quite bad enough to have to do comedy in the middle of a chat about ‘Ptarmigan Duchers Caledonian Home Brew’ there was a bunch of very loud, drunk Irish men.

They sat right at the front and I watched them decimate act and compere before me.

As I took the mic they demanded to know if I was Catholic or a Protestant! I explained I didnt understand ‘poor talk’ anymore and tried to ignore. No good -they stood up and talked loudly throughout the act. I managed to get them to sit, and verbally ripped their throats out to the delight of the comedy audience that was intermingled with the corudoy crowd.

The one person who was on the door, controlling the audience and supposedly taking ticket money, was the same person who was serving and running upstairs to the bar above. I did manage to control the show to a degree, the Irish boys constantly interrupted EVERY joke/story and I had to intersperse each story with a comeback and keep them at bay as I kept the crowds attention for the punchline.

This was a nightmare, they were in free, they were not up for comedy and were too drunk therefore the people who did pay were pissed off and some were arguing with the Irish crowd.

This is why comedy clubs do NOT flourish, wee clubs that are set up by people who assume they will run on their own, or that the publican/under paid barmaid will make sure the night is managed well are just badly thought out. Those people who paid to come along, will not come back, those people who may have been converted to comedy will probably never come to a live gig again, Irish boys will wake up and forget they ruined a show with booze and sectarianism.

Me? I am going to make sure the smaller nights I insist on supporting are better organised before I even bother to waste shoe leather going.

I am off to cry about my PC, may call police to Just balantly lie and report porn and see if they can retrieve my hard drive?

Worked for Gary Glitter! (that was a joke ok?)_
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