Last weekend was awesome, Ashley and I decided to head to London and have a fun weekend. We were both doing Burns poems at a Private London Club as part of their Burns Night celebrations. Ashley ‘gets’ Burns and I am not really sure of how to pronounce his work, but she taught me over the week.
We flew into London at 8am on Friday morning, both of us exhausted as we don’t do mornings well and I hate folk who fight for elbow space on the London tube. Some nasty wee man started pushing his elbow right into my side as he read his paper. Ashley was sitting opposite and glared at him, whilst making silent angry eyes at me, I waited till he got comfy and gave him a proper Glasgow dunt (a big shove) right back. He was startled but gave up trying to stick his arm under my left breast. I felt like turning round and saying “We will need a lubricant if you get any closer to my side boobs” but the dunt did it. He had the cheek to look at me as if I was wrong!
Anyway we got to the Crownlawn apartments at Point West on the Cromwell Road and they were AWESOME, seriously – a huge two bedroom flat with enormous patio! My niece Ann Margaret was coming down for two nights, but the poor wee mite was doing the ten hour bus journey as she doesn’t have a passport or is into flying yet!
Ashley was furiously learning her Burns poem and I was silently ignoring mine; it will be all right on the night!
Ann Margaret arrived on the Saturday morning after the journey from hell on the bloody Magic Bus…trust me it wasn’t magic, it was evil.
On Saturday afternoon we all got ready and headed into the club to prepare for the big meal and the Burns performance. Little did we know that John Landis and his wife would be in attendance, its one thing winging a poem in front of a small audience and another doing it in front of a big Hollywood film director. To make it worse there were a few very famous faces from the big screen, Ashley stared at me with a pale face and I felt my bowels do the Macarena!
There were only about 50 people in this small room…so it’s not as if you can huddle into a corner if you totally fuck it up! Anyway, after the most amazing Address to the Haggis by a lovely Scottish actor, Ashley was first up with her rendition of ‘A mans a man for aw that’ and she was really good, her clear voice and determined attitude saw it through.
I did my poem and some Burns based comedy, as did other fabulous performers, it was a lovely night. Mr Landis congratulated Ashley on her lovely poem and chatted to her, he was so bloody nice!
Then we all had karaoke, which Ashley and Ann Margaret LOVE! They sang, danced and chatted the night away, fabulous stuff!
All in all it was an awesome night out, despite having nerves performing in front of some famous people!
So I am back home and back working, writing and trying hard not to think about my colonoscopy next week, but my bowels know its going to happen and they are rebelling in a way I will never describe in words._