Monday I was at STV doing The Hour show which was live! Apparently I did very well and managed to catch up with the Chippendales who are performing at Gilded Balloon! I loved the live TV interview, good pre press for my fringe show.

On Tuesday we moved through to Edinburgh, Ashley managed to bag the big double room with balcony and en suite bathroom, I don’t understand how she gets the best room and I am the performer! Anyway we managed to put together an amazing flyer team, they are just a great bunch of enthusiastic bunch and they are working their asses off. If you see one of my flyerers please tell them I love them! Ashley decided to buy a tartan Hurley trolley; you know the kind, the wee tartan shopping trolley! She puts all the flyers in it and heads off to replenish their stock.

My first night went great, I didn’t really have a show, I just put together a bunch of stories and hope for the best. It went good…people liked it!
It was also cool catching up with comics that I haven’t seen in a while.

The second day I took my friends wee boy to the park, he is such a delight to be around and really is well behaved. There were some annoying posh looking lanky teenagers (one was wearing a dinner jacket and jeans, with side combed emotional hair, he needed punched for that alone) on the roundabout and they were making it go extremely fast and scaring all the kids around them. It was such a hot day and the park was crowded, so I walked over and said to my wee charge “Shall I throw them off?”
He nodded and smiled, other wee kids watched and started to gather as they could smell adult trouble happening. A gaggle of chubby faced toddlers gathered around me, silently chanting me on with eager cheery faces, how could I let them down?

“Get off now” I screamed and pulled the roundabout to a stop and the wannabe crew of skinny jeaned fuck wits who looked like bad extras from Skins all stared at me and clambered off and skulked off the play ground. One big lanky boy with his jeans hanging off his ass waited till he was far enough away and gave me the finger and shouted “Bitch” I stared at him and a big daddy who had two kids near him stood up and booted his skinny bony ass. We all cheered and clapped, even the kids joined in. The skinny assed kids ran away and you could tell they were all about to become Emos or Goths but didn’t have the staying power to learn the shite music and show commitment to the dyed hair cause.
A few things bother me about the fringe and the big thing is – people who give away FREE TICKETS to shows. It means that people coming up to Pleasance Dome and are about to buy tickets then get swayed into taking a free ticket. I disagree with the FREE ticket scenario, people don’t value the show, they sit with other people who have paid and that’s not nice and it creates a culture of people expecting a FREE show. I don’t mind the Free Fringe etc…but in venues where the tickets do cost it really does antagonise me. A woman came up to my daughter and asked if my show was free and Ashley said “No” and the woman just said she would wait to get a free ticket.

Its called papering a room, I really believe that if you can’t play to 6 people then you should piss off, I played to small audiences and I earned my stripes. The thinking behind papering a room is- they believe people will walk away and then tell people to go buy tickets, or maybe the folk will walk away and think “Why buy tickets if you can get them for free?”

I take the free tickets and throw them away, as I believe it undermines everything me and other comics are doing. I know people disagree with me but I get pissed off with it, especially when they are still giving away free tickets into week 3, that’s just wrong.

Other than that I am having a great time, I have done two shows already and am getting prepared for my Just a Minute performance which always scared the bejebus out of me. Day three coming up, so do come and see me, it will costs you money but I am sure you will like it! (hopefully)._
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