My Blog went live today!
You can check my first ever live video blog by clicking the title above.
Ashley and I sat down and taped it and uploaded it today, she is a whiz with the laptop and multi media stuff, and meanwhile I am still getting to grips with working the timer on my oven.
I have been doing nothing but arguing for the past two days with husband, he is plotting his getaway I am sure. As soon as Ashley and I go to New Zealand in May, he will pack a bag; change his identity and slope off to Monaco to marry a sweet woman who has tidy hair and no temper.
She will be tall, slender and have long glossy smooth hair that swings as she walks, she will love country music, never grow a moustache, have no stretch marks and share his aspergic obsession of binary numbers. She will sit and gaze for hours into his eyes and be amazed at his knowledge of World War 2 movies and his strange interest in bull dog clips and barbed wire (trust me he knows lots about that stuff, coz he is really a borg from planet Zhirro).
She will giggle as he tells her that fucked up boring story about the tortoise he once saw choke on a peanut in 1982. She will love the fact he likes sex when you are trying to concentrate on life changing decisions, and kiss you hard when his bristly beard leaves a scaly like rash.
I am sure she will squeal with delight when he hugs her and then manages to try to pinch that bit of fat round her middle, coz he loves doing that.
She will be lucky and I will be sad he left me.
I may have to find a young blind man to love me.
Maybe I can stop being bitchy, or maybe not.
By the way I got an email from a cool guy in Prague who sent me his new email address, I replied but the address is wrong so if mccorrisken is reading this email me again please? Janey@janeygodley.co.uk_