There can be nothing worse than getting to a city after five hours on the road, then not being able to actually find your way to a hotel when you get there! Fucking annoying. Multi Map deserves bird flu virus for the shit route it gave me.
I am sorry this blog is late but as usual, internet connection at a city centre hotel is 20 quid for 24 hours!
I mean CRACK is cheaper than that! When are major hotel chains going to realize that people will NOT pay that money for a connection? I have been to big hotels where it is free…
Ok I need to stop moaning; by the way did you know this blog got four thousand hits in one day? That was yesterday, so I am going to try to break the record and hopefully get seven thousand hits!!
Spread the news!
Ashley is selling stuff on EBAY and I dug out some things I think are valuable, like my real Gucci watch ( I don’t like it anymore) I have some gold rings that I will never wear and for the quirky, I have signed letters from celebrities and a few cards signed by the last three UK Prime Ministers, I have Boris Beckers sperm in a phial…I am joking! I just said that because I was watching him on TV tonight.
There was a woman who did collect his sperm in her mouth in a fancy cupboard in a London restaurant and she promptly put it into a turkey baster and squished it into her lady bits the first chance she got…how horrid and premeditated is that? Who the fuck goes out in the town with a turkey baster in her purse?
I could never do that as I talk too much and as soon as the BJ was over it would all come spilling out of my gob and that would be 4 million pounds worth of serious paternity down the front of a cheap tee shirt!
I cant begin to imagine the conversation between that mercenary of a woman and her child in years to come when that wee girl asks how she came to be…”Did you love my daddy?”
Mum-“ No not really, I gave him a blow job in a busy restaurant, kept the sperm warm in my mouth, ran into a toilet, pulled out my baster, filled it up, got into a squat position and Boris is your daddy, see how clever a woman can be if she keeps her mouth shut?”
Whilst I am on the subject of paternity cases, was watching David Blunkett resign (again), apparently he was a heavy investor in a DNA company and never declared this, well so he should be involved in a DNA company – the amount of scary women he got pregnant and the amount of times he is called on to supply DNA he should be investing in the fucking company.
Do you know what stuns me? I cannot for the LOVE OF GOD understand how he gets that much pussy…seriously; there is yet another woman in the newspapers screaming she was fucking that odd looking floppy faced man…what woman can lick him? Seriously?
I am sorry that was cruel, but he does look like he hasn’t been downloaded properly_