What's new with Janey
20 June 2005

Jesus is not a Catholic!

Met a priest today, not formally he is a friend of a friend kinda thing. Anyway he is always a bit wary of me ( I am not a Catholic…in fact I dont have a religion and that bothers him) He comes into a cafe I frequent and the woman there Kelly is a devout Catholic (which is cool) and anyway whenever he comes in everyone fawns over him like he is some sort of Demi-God in his own right and not some dude who smokes more than me drinks more than me and is a local leader of his chosen church. AND my name has GOD..in it!

He asks me do I have any jokes…

me-“Yes but they all involve nuns who get punched for smacking poor kids and single mothers in the 50’s, so you wont like my jokes!”

Priest-” That’s not funny”

me-“Yes, I know I saw the Magdalene Sisters and it frighten the crap out of me and made me glad my family were non believing devil worshipers”

Priest-“Thats not funny either”

me-” I know it made glad my parents drank so much they could never catch a goat”

Priest-” How was your play in London? Did it go well?”

me-“Yes thanks, I got so scared I would forget my lines I even went into that wee chapel in Soho Square…you know the one St Pats? I sat there and enjoyed the peace and sanctuary and prayed I would not forget my lines”

Priest-” Why did you go in there? You are not a Catholic”

me-“I know I’m not and neither was Jesus but he was in there and he is a Jew, he and I bonded over that fact that we didnt really belong and Jesus accepts my non Catholic-ness being Jewish an’ all”

Kelly (my cafe pal)-“Thats blasphemy Janey”

me-“Wait a minute is it just me who knows Jesus is a Jew? This is not news I am bringing to the fold here…is it Mr priest?”

Priest-(Now really annoyed and reluctant to back me up)” Yes he was a Jew”

me-“Is a Jew, he died a jew and that’s not bad thing, I mean he didn’t die a Jewish person and come back a Catholic did he? It says above the cross on his death ‘KING OF THE JEWS’ according to legend..erm..the Bible”

Priest-“Erm..that’s ture..ok he is a Jew”

me-“Ok then, I am off …see you all later and if you chat to Jesus in the next few days tell him I loved his Chutzpah”

I left the cafe and a dark cloud drifted over the sky above me…oh dear..I have angered someone…_